Oh, romance
I swore that my return from tumblr hiatus would NOT consist of me discussing my crush on some guy. Alas, I have nothing better to do for it seems as though I’m an invalid and will continue to suffer the boredom of being bedridden. I hope no one “important” uses my email to stalk me on here and read this. That’s just embarrassing…for that person.
The point that I’m making, the point that I’m only now starting to admit to myself, is that there is a man out there who I just cannot rid from my mind. I can’t like him, I know this. In the end, I’m just going to get hurt, it’s just not feasible for more than one reason. But the worse thing for me is the thought that he’d force himself to not think about me because of these reasons. He really should, for his sake. But it still hurts thinking that he’ll succumb to the facts of reality.
There is humor in our relationship, and pure, beautiful ease. Sometimes I think he teases me too much, as though we can never be serious, but I think I bring that upon myself for being too carefree-an easy target. I love to make him laugh. And I love to smile at him. I think that brightens his mood. I don’t know what it is exactly, but there’s something in his eyes…I see kindness and a deep soul. I catch my breath every time he looks at me in that way, when his hair is ruffled a bit and his face just glows with serene calm. I love his sarcastic smile when I’m being dorky and how he always says my name after “Hello”.
But it won’t work. It’ll just hurt.
It’s a night that can’t be wiped from memory
As I sit here, there’s a part of my soul implanting this moment in time into the corners of my mind, my heart
I can only thank the Lord. For everything
The good and the bad
Today I chipped my tooth
Today…I know
I’m going to college
—Future Dr. Nguyen (can’t help myself)
Beautiful person
It’s been a long time since I’ve been like this. I thought he was amazing, kind, and one of the best people I will ever get the priviledge to meet. And he was, is.
I miss A.F., and that’s not a feeling I want to keep. It’s annoying, irriatating…because I know nothing will ever come of it. He’s long gone, and I’m too afraid to look back. If I do, time would be wasted and we’d hurt.
But now something new has come to me, something beautiful. Everyone leaves, that’s the way fate has played me. Now, I’m hopeful. It’s too beautiful for me to not reach for, to not pursue. I’m ready for the faults, I accept them, I’ll love them.
Every glance is wave of
joy
simplicity
genuiness
life
Every touch is a shock of
hunger
desire
warmth
wonder
I just can’t help but smile.
House A designed by the Office of Ryue Nishizawa.
This is too beautiful. I’m happier just looking at it!
